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What to Do After a Tantrum

Forgive your child right away

  • Tell her you love her
  • Give her a hug
  • If she was able to calm down quickly, praise her

Teach your child better ways to express her bad feelings.

  • Set a good example. When you're feeling frustrated or upset, don't start yelling in front of her.
  • Show her how to take deep breaths to calm down.
  • Remember, it's healthy for your child to cry sometimes.

You can keep notes about the tantrums
Write down:

  • How long the tantrum lasted
  • What started the tantrum
  • What ended the tantrum
  • What your child told you about why she is upset
  • Your response to the tantrum
  • Your discussion about the tantrum later

These notes will help you understand why the tantrums are happening, and help you fix the problem.

Get help
Ask your child's doctor for help if:

  • Her tantrums usually last for more than 10 minutes.
  • It seems like she's always having a tantrum.
  • She tries to hurt herself or other people when she's upset.
  • She has a really hard time calming down.

Learn more

Next: Sample Stories

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National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
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